The story of our friendship began 30 years ago. Gee, when I write that, I almost can’t believe so much time has elapsed. The two of us were the most unlikely of pairings. We couldn’t have been more opposite. Sarah was always fearless, confident, and ready for adventure. I was always more hesitant, self conscious, and afraid to fail. That fear often kept me from wanting to try new things. But, the summer between my 8th and 9th grade year, changed all of that. I knew then, and continue to know now, that I had an incredible friend for life.
Once we became friends, we were inseparable. She taught me to have fun with life, to not take things so seriously and I, according to her dad, encouraged her to sometimes look before she leapt and to pay attention to the details. I also often kept her from losing her wallet. No one could figure out how our friendship made sense and, to be honest, we would sometimes look at each other, laugh, and say, “Why are we friends?”. We never answered that question; we never had to.
Our adventure carried us through High School. Sarah and I are two days apart, but she was a year ahead of me in school. When she left for college and I still had my senior year to finish; it felt like a cavernous hole had opened in my life. The sister of my heart was gone, and I hated it. I managed to make it through that year, living for Christmas and Spring Break and then I too headed off to college. Time and geography separated us. There were times where we were at each other’s throats and times where we’d talk and laugh all night long. There were first loves, personal upheavals, triumphs, and tragedies and, a couple years after college we got married six weeks apart and began our journeys with our new families. Sarah’s new life was far different from mine, and that took some adjusting to on my part. I’ll admit, I wasn’t great at that adjustment. But, she taught me that hanging on to the things that cloud your heart doesn’t provide anything positive for you. Once again, my beautiful, carefree friend gently guided me to the realization that friendship and kindness, patience and understanding are ultimately all that matters. I learned then and fiercely hold onto now, that the things that illuminate your life will overpower anything that darkens your day.
While Sarah and I are so different, we very much agree on the fact that kindness, compassion, loyalty and patience are imperative in life. We have watched society change so much over the past several decades and neither of us love what is happening. We’re both in the throws of raising teenagers now and we desperately need them to see the good in this world. We want them to focus their attention on how they can contribute as opposed to popularity on social media and material possessions. We aren’t trying to sit atop a soapbox and wax perfection. We have many faults and shortcomings. But together, we want to encourage change. We want to show our children that it takes such little effort to show kindness, yet such a tremendous, festering effort to be negative. It starts with one person at a time. A simple smile as you pass a stranger. Stopping to pick up an item the person in front of you may have dropped. Purchasing a cup of coffee for the person behind you in line. Tiny things like this take seconds to do, but the impact they can have on someone can be immeasurable. Sarah and I live thousands of miles apart. She lives in a completely different culture than I. Yet, when we talk, we always come back to the fact that everywhere around us, regardless of geography, we are surrounded by good people doing great things. Together, we want to highlight that. We want to celebrate it. When it comes down to it, kindness brought us together. Kindness keeps us together. So now, Let’s Do Kind together.
Ashley Kaneda and Sarah Longwell